Vancouver, Day 1

Ya, I wish I was more exciting too but Tom, the man whos house Im renting is still here. He leaves for Japan tomorrow. Hes nice and obviously we get along. Its just strange sharing a space with someone you dont really know. You know? Ive never had a roommate. Even in university, I always had a single room. And to be in someone's house while they're here is kinda strange. I mean, its their house. Sure, youre renting it but its theirs. And also, its strange when you see them use the house in their way, like, how they leave the salt and pepper (rock salt, crystals of it, peppercorn, unground) on a tray next to the stove or how they lean against the dishwasher and eat their cereal or polenta while you?youd put the salt and pepper inside the cupboards and you prefer to look out into the garden while youre eating. (And you dont even like polenta so that's never in the mix.) You notice, though, that neither of you sit down when you eat. And its even stranger when you know theyre thinking the same thing. Hes prolly thinking about all the preverted, depraved and debaucherous things Im gonna do in his house. And hes right. I am, afterall, once again a single and totally unencumbered man. (Ha ha.) A house is a living being given life by the people living theirs inside of it. Ya know?

Around noon, I decided to strike out on my own. Went around East Van, lots of Vietnamese restaurants and into Commercial Drive, one part of Vancouver I actually sorta have a memory of. Years ago, I was asked to read some of my poems. After I left the west coast, I stopped writing and, like magic, when I got back here, I started writing again. Anyway, the reading was at a restaurant on the Drive. It's closed now but the Drive's as jumpin as ever. You know youre on the west coast and in Vancouver when I went into four different organic grocery stores slash food co-ops and, I swear ta God, all of them had nearly empty quinoa bins. Quinoa is to Vancouver as, say, mac and cheese is in New Haven or, like, double chili double cheese fries in Fort Collins.

Ill take more pictures next time I venture out but I didnt take my camera with me. It was cool, even cold, when I left and I changed jackets and left some things behind, including my camera. Couldnt find my beloved steel cut oats til I hit Famous Foods on the Kingsway. So this is my day: oats, quinoa, a apple, a pear, dark dark chocolate with orange.

I'll go back to the market tomorrow: laundry detergent, fish, bok choy, almonds etc. And besides, that chocolate's not gonna see daylight.

***Oh and Ill do this now. Part of today's lethargy, though I did walk for 4 hours, is just the move and the change that comes with it. Saying goodbye to friends, old loves, new loves, shouldvebeentrueloves (that is, until a certain whole-spelt bakin baker comes to his senses), leaving the bite-sized manageability and odd British hippie hybrid of Victoria and the pace of island life for the big city buzz of Vancouver, having a month plus of working on my other writing with not one, but two count em TWO chapters of the dissertation under my belt with real encouraging and constructive criticism from my committee members, getting not one, but two count em TWO fellowships to finish off my, um, glorious career at Yale while getting ready to return to New Haven, to return to a footprint of my life with so much curiousity to see how much Ive shrunk or grown or in other words if I still fit (or better yet, if it still fits me cause my life's gotta fit my needs rather than me shaping myself to somethting Ive outgrown), to see friends I havent seen and people Ive thoughtlessly forgotten about but will be happy to see once I see them, to spend weekends in New York forking over $23 on fried chicken at Blue Ribbon and going to dl clubs with Ferentz??? (Ha ha...) Last week, as I started packing my apartment up, I thought I could really use a smoke. Maybe a clove. It made me miss Manila and how you could buy just one stick, one cigarette. It's all you need sometimes. One more time, one more chance, one more look. Youll want another but, really, one is enough. More than enough. And then there are some times when you get two: a birth, a death, a start, a finish. And you should just say "Thanks."

Here's some last shots of Victoria. Spring is beautiful there. It comes earlier than in most parts of the country, the continent, and it stays longer, it's more pronounced. The trees take their time. They sigh green and greener. I like it best when there's just a hint of spring in the air and especially on the trees, when new buds are sprouting out of their shells and you sense the struggle, the fight. But you know how its gonna come out, how this movies gonna end. There will be leaves and something will bloom. Thanks.***